Spinning Tunes

by Adam Sakellarides

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1.
Sitting in a coffee shop Futzing on the internet When suddenly I saw a flash of light She appeared before my eyes In a svelte coat with gadgetry And said “Come with me— There’s no time!” She said “Greetings, sir— I am from the distant future And a third world war you can help prevent. We have chosen you for your tech prowess and ability to follow directions from smart and pretty women" And she was right And she was It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine She teleported us To the thirtieth century Asked “Can you help with this archaic technology?" Showed me an old Mac From summer 2017 So I DDrescued for file recovery She said “Wow, you’re good. It's a shame I have to send you back." It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine I said, "I have a dull ache in my chest" She said, “That’s a time-travel side-effect” But I knew better: It was love [solo] In the 21st century She returned in seconds to update me We had prevented war— mission complete She said a few months had passed I noticed an engagement ring And she disappeared in a flash after a kiss on the cheek months for her minutes for me It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine
2.
02:56
He’s so smart / turns every myst’ry to a work of art / with his dear Watson finishes what he starts / and for the ladies he just melts their hearts Of his name / my mother constantly talks Are you done? / I’m tired of hearing about Sherlock Audiences are always entranced By this man man with an English accent I know why their hearts have been snatched Damn you, Benedict Cumberbatch He’s revived / the most conniving villain of all time / seeks his vengeance with a hatred blind / with super sexy and a super mind my girlfriend / is no longer impressed with my caress she’d rather / be with that guy from Star Trek: Into Darkness Audiences are always entranced By this man man with an English accent I know why their hearts have been snatched Damn you, Benedict Cumberbatch IMDB / lists his accomplishments verily / a master of stage, screen, and motion capture / and I for some reason I am enraptured could it be? / that I am now a fan of this man I hate? I refuse / and roll my eyes, there’s no debate Audiences are always entranced By this man man with an English accent I know why their hearts have been snatched Damn you, Benedict Cumberbatch
3.
everyday the sun does rise and reveals a big surprise the entire world sees with its eyes that the sky is blue well, Rainbow Dash and Super Grover hang a large blue curtain over the entire world and hover for an hour or two that’s why the sky is blue that’s why the sky is blue but if either’s preoccupied they’ll light a Bolian’s head with blue light or sometimes they’ll bring in Bill Nye and enlarge his blue lab coat and if they’re having trouble with that the caterpillar from Wonderland will get high and lie really flat while he blows up clouds of smoke that’s why the sky is blue that’s why the sky is blue that’s why the sky is blue that’s why the sky is blue some may say during the day “The sun’s visible spectrum of matters" they will lie and tell you why: “Earth’s atmosphere causes light to scatter" but they are wrong they’ll sing this song: “Because the waves of blues are shorter and then we will mostly see simply blue waves of the spectrum order" that’s why the sky is blue that’s why the sky is blue that’s why the sky is blue that’s why the sky is blue
4.
5.
02:21
Walking 'round the house It’s quiet as a mouse I’m alone / No one’s home What’s that creaking sound When I turn around? Nothing’s there / Should I be scared? My gosh, I could swear I left it right there Did you move this? / It’s mysterious I won't be deterred I’m the realtor I’ll sell this place / With a happy face For Sale This house includes a ghost as a frill For Sale But the worst part is he won’t help pay bills For Sale He is like your roommate you had at nineteen— Except for the fact that he cannot be seen C’mon it’s not so bad A ghost stole your hat He’s so fun / please, don’t run This ghost is full of charm He will do no harm Properties I flip / are those blood drips? For Sale Being stuck in escrow can drive you insane For Sale It's even worse when you’re stuck on this existential plane For Sale If you have further questions feel free to phone me If you buy this house, I swear you'll never be lonely If you buy this house, I swear you'll never be lonely
6.
03:21
When I was a young child I wasn’t too dense to realize my family was not normal in the traditional sense in that my mother would use a normal amount of words when speaking with her friends but my father would use more words than necessary and his sentences would never end. What I guess I’m trying to say is that my father talked a lot in that he used more words than were actually necessary to get his point across and I guess I kind of see the reason he did that particular sort of thing, assuming you care more about precision than being judged as really boring. So this went on and on for years, at least that was my sense because it actually was quite a few years, but I think you know what I meant And one day my mom was missing, it seems she packed her things to flee She left a note addressed to both of us that simply said You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me (Could you possibly get to the point?) You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me (You could say this in so many fewer words) You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me (Can’t take words, words, words anymore) You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me Could you be a little more concise? So I had inherited my father’s gift for extremely detailed eloquence and when it came time to pick a career, I picked appropriately and went and On my resume I listed almost every thing I’d ever done except for the embarrassing parts, because I edited the thing, I’m not a complete idiot which leads to my first job at Merriam-Webster, of whom I’ve sure you’ve heard because they make those wonderful books that define most every word That I had to revise and edit, and define whole new words, in addition though I think they’re also in Urban Dictionary, if you’re in a tough position But one day my boss at Webster (we call it that to save time, too) called me into his office for a quarterly performance review and while he was looking over my work over the few months that did precede he gave me the pink slip and it simply said You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me (Could you possibly get to the point?) You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me (You could say this in so many fewer words) You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me (Can’t take words, words, words anymore) You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me Could you be a little more concise? Well my career wasn’t going great, but my love life was on the up I had met a pretty girl for whom words were her first love Though of course I don’t mean that literally, that would actually be kinda bad if you loved words much more than your mother or your dad On our first date we played scrabble and on our second we crossed words I’ve also listened to some audio books, which of course I’m sure you’ve heard of at least of a few ones, but the point is I asked her to marry me and we would talk about our plans and future children, it was lovely But one day she came over to me while I was standing in the kitchen And proceeded to ask me how my day was and for what dinner I was wishin' and it was that sort of small talk leading into something big, you know the sound, and while she was speaking I didn’t notice that our house was burning to the ground You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me (Honey I hate to be rude but I think you’re on fire) You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me (Why do fire extinguishers have expiration dates?) You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me (It’s not like I’m going to eat the thing, really) You’re too verbose, you’re too verbose for me (We should probably end this song)
7.
I had been able to shirk it for so long though I could not avoid its dreaded name I had heard stories of the long nights with long fights this phrase lives on infame I had been able to shirk it for so long That it became a point of pride But now I sit with my girlfriend and her family And they pass to me a dish of this dreaded side Holy wow I love Brussel sprouts God damn I must scream and shout Have you heard I love Brussel sprouts (Father: Get down from the table!) ’Tis only human to have fear of the unknown A strong component of fight of flight But you’ll never know if you could like something you fear If you drown it in olive oil you might (Father: Ugh! Not again!) Holy shit I love Brussel sprouts God damn I must scream and shout Have you heard I love Brussel sprouts Broccoli was suggested once to me But the florets got stuck in my teeth Squash too squishy and cauliflower’s a bore When it came to veggies I'd no idea what was in store Holy wow I love Brussel sprouts God damn I must scream and shout Have you heard I love brussel sprouts (Father: I don't care how much you love him, you can't see him anymore)
8.
Others will make the claims And you will judge You cut to the point Through muck and sludge You’re the one in charge Could we have a side bar? You have Harsher words They cut like swords They will make small claims And you’ll award If I called you "heaven-sent" Would you hold me in contempt (please)? You’re my guilty pleasure Oh, Judge Judy, oh, in the studio You’re my guilty pleasure Oh, Judge Judy, oh, I love you so You walk in every day So beautifully I give you everything So dutifully But between us there’s a rift ‘Cause I am your bailiff (of love) You’re my guilty pleasure Oh, Judge Judy, oh, in the studio You’re my guilty pleasure Oh, Judge Judy, oh, I love you so I say "I love you" I take the risk You say You love me too A moment’s bliss But my friends think I’m lying— I should have got it in writing! You’re my guilty pleasure Oh, Judge Judy, oh, in the studio You’re my guilty pleasure Oh, Judge Judy, oh, I love you so You’re my guilty pleasure Oh, Judge Judy, oh, in the studio You’re my guilty pleasure Oh, Judge Judy, oh, I love you

credits

released February 9, 2014

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Adam Sakellarides Los Angeles, California

A native southern-Californian, Adam started writing songs on an old guitar from the 70s that his parents won in a raffle. He sings about love, science, politics, socially awkward people, and things like that. Now armed with witty lyrics, catchy melodies, and a bunch of mediocre jokes, he's ready to entertain you. ... more

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